If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
