You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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