um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
