Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
