you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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