she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
