I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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