you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
