I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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