i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
