oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
