I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
