considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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