im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
