Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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