I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
