the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
