I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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