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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
