If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
