People in love make me want to vomit
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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