So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
