remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
