don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My ass is underappreciated
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
