hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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