Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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