Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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