Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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