woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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