I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
