And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
