Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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