Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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