Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it because I queefed?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
