i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
