I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
