PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
