perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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