wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
