Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
