Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
nutella sex= disaster
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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