I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
