I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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