hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
