i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
