R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
