Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
