God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
