Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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