Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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