HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
