After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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