isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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