Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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