life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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