Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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