when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
