return my video game
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
