Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
