Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
