ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
